You are a wealth of information, a valuable resource for the rest of your family. By age 50 we have accumulated a half-century of memories that include friends, a growing family, interesting life lessons and experiences. For centuries, in the old tradition of story-telling, senior relatives passed down tales of family history to the rising generation.

After Maggie retired, she began thinking about all the places where her family had lived since she married. She recalled how they struggled in the early years; she thought about adventures, humorous and not so, that they had shared. She reflected on stories told to the children about things they had been too young to remember. For years these anecdotes had been recounted at random, but often with no clear frame of reference.

A family’s yesterdays can become a jumble and soon get lost. How many of us have found an old family photo containing that one person no one can identify?

Maggie thought, what if she created a chronological family history, dating from her marriage to when the children had grown? From that point, she could fit each worthy event into its proper time frame, giving the children a tangible record of their own young lives. She would include the quirky story of meeting her husband and of their early married life.

As Maggie began making and organizing notes, the project became a powerful memory exercise. She inspected family photos to help her remember, and was amazed at how the times and events began to gather themselves into one orderly whole.

The more she worked on it, the more memories came flooding back, begging to be included—people, events, and even places and possessions she hadn’t thought about in years.

She located photos online of every house and apartment they had occupied around the country in the last 50 years, except for one that the highway department had leveled. Websites like Realtor.com, Zillow, Trulia, and V-pike were valuable resources. (Tip: If the website won’t let you save or email yourself the picture, pull up your computer’s “snipping tool” to capture it and send it to yourself.)

It doesn’t require a special skill to put together a history for your children. Maggie chose to put her project in story form, but just placing a list of events and people into a time-frame lets your children view their lives as a complete picture. When you start jotting down those memories as they come, don’t be surprised if they lead to more.

Looking over her finished project, Maggie says it was not only mentally stimulating and fun, but it gave her renewed appreciation for her husband and children, for her parents, for friends along the way, and for the hard times that brought needed lessons.

She says it was not about wallowing in a longed-for past, but a time of gratitude for the experience of life itself—a life lived in all these places, including all these adventures, with all these precious people–people who deserve to be remembered, and for people who want to remember.

Article by Constance Watkins

Casting about for a new adventure?  Have you ever been lured by the romance of riding the rails?  Whether crossing our beautiful country or just traveling to Aunt Martha’s in the next state, rail travel has long captured man’s imagination.

Who doesn’t enjoy reading of rail adventures like Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express, or movies of train robbers in the Old West, or real-life tales of hobos?

As autumn bursts upon us with her vibrant palette, a scenic train excursion through the Ozarks or the Smokies might be just the remedy for boredom, a ticket to fall’s panorama, and for snapping some frameworthy photos.

Branson Scenic Railway, just 5-1/2 hours away in Branson, Missouri, offers a scenic 40-mile round trip through the Ozark foothills.  You’ll enjoy seating in restored antique passenger cars, crossing 100-year-old bridges, having a guide point out wildlife, landmarks, and interesting historic facts about the region.  You’re free to walk from car to car, three of which are dome cars with panoramic views.  Buy snacks and refreshments.

The Branson Railway gives you a choice of taking the Northern route through Missouri and the James River Valley, or the Southern route through Northwest Arkansas and over the Barren Fork Trestle.  Each round trip takes about 1-3/4 hour, with a price tag of $27.50 plus tax per person.  A 10% discount is available for AAA members.

Through October you can take advantage of a special dinner train on Saturdays at 5:00 p.m.  You’ll be served a 4-course candlelit meal.  Tickets for this trip are $62.00 plus tax per person.

For those willing to travel a little further to their rail adventure, the Arkansas & Missouri Railroad offers a 3-hour, 70-mile scenic tour through the Ozark Boston Mountains.  The train leaves Van Buren, Arkansas, traveling to Winslow and back.  The trip is offered on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays through mid-November.

Crossing three valley trestles and passing through the 1,700-foot long Winslow Tunnel, this excursion train utilizes a present-day working railroad, so you may encounter an occasional delay.  Passenger car choices include: Coach Class in a 1920’s-style car at $50.00 per passenger; Bronze Vintage, also a 1920’s-style car at $60.00; Gold Class in a 1950’s-built car for $84.00; and the Silver Feather Premium in a 1940’s Zephyr Vista Dome with two levels and 360-degree views for $94.00.  Lunch is included in the ticket prices.

Planning a group trip?  A&M will hook up the caboose for a party of 1015 people at a cost of $500.00.

For further information on these trips and to purchase tickets, check out the websites at: www.amrailroad.com; and www.bransontrain.com.  For Smoky Mountains trips, visit www.gsmr.com.

Autumn is going to pass by.  Why not let it be on a train?

Article by Constance Watkins

Howard was a quiet man who had enjoyed gardening all his adult life. A few years after retiring, he convinced his wife, Betty, to move from their home in the Midwest to Florida. They had no children and Howard had no other relatives, but Betty would be leaving her hometown, four siblings and their families.

Wisely, Howard chose to rent a condo in Florida before deciding to remain and purchase a home. Less than a year later they returned to their house in the Midwest. Neither Howard nor Betty had enjoyed condo living, but sadder still, neither had succeeded in making friends.

Except for moving to a golfing or retirement community, relocating and finding friends can be difficult for older people. No longer having day-to-day access to others in the work place, and with children now grown, new friendships must be sought out. And wishing for someone else to make the first move could mean a long wait.

It’s no problem finding places to meet people—clubs, volunteering, social functions, plays, taking classes, community events. Putting oneself out there is not so easy for many folks.

Margaret Manning (columnist, Huffingtonpost.com) suggests that instead of focusing on finding people, develop your own interests– hobbies, skills, activities—and follow that.

Also, examine what it is that holds you back—insecurity about your social skills, education level, appearance? Fear of rejection?

Once you’ve zeroed in on the problem, spend time each day on physical or mental improvement to help you gain confidence. Do what it takes to feel better about yourself—expand your reading subjects, improve  your vocabulary, exercise, keep up with world news—whatever will help you feel more comfortable around others. Practice smiling and speaking to people in the grocery, the drugstore, the bank.

Relocating in her later years, Maggie reports that she joined an organization that interested her. Expecting to meet people after her first session, she was surprised when no one approached her afterwards, even though she had participated in the discussion.

She was tempted not to return. However, she finally took a moment to step outside herself and accept that people already have their own friends, their own families and lives, and that she needed to give them a chance to get to know her.

Summoning her courage, she put a smile on her face, and attended the next meeting, and the next, and the next, initiating light conversation with those sitting near her, and learning something about them. She also shared information about herself, her interests. Gradually she was accepted and began making friends.

Putting yourself out there can seem daunting, but it lets others know you’re friendly and open to engaging socially.

And as Maggie learned, don’t give up on your first attempt. Give people another chance to accept your invitation to friendship.

Article by Constance Watkins

This month our nation will experience a tremendous expansion—most of it around the waistline. We all know the consequences of gorging ourselves, but that doesn’t stop us. The good news is, it may not be our fault.

Scientific research has found that pigs (four-legged variety) have been given a bad rap. If placed all by himself with a trough of food, a pig will eat only what he needs. Put the same pig in a pen with other pigs and he will gorge himself. The same research found that this theory also applies to humans. (And, no, the moral here is not, Don’t eat with pigs.) Socializing and fellowship, perhaps even more than taste, can determine the amount we eat.

And while there don’t seem to be any hard and fast rules about how to celebrate gratitude for our bounty, I don’t think we’re supposed to eat the entire harvest at one sitting.

The Thanksgiving of 1621 was celebrated in a slightly different manner. The Wampanoag Indians had befriended and taught the starving Pilgrims how to farm productively. Grateful for their first successful harvest, the Pilgrims invited the Wampanoags to feast from their bounty.

As their contribution, the Native Americans brought a gift of five deer. In addition to venison, the meal reportedly consisted of corn, pumpkin, and various fowl. No mention of green bean casserole.
Instead of devouring one gigantic meal, then retiring to a pinewood chair to suffer gastric retribution, they participated in a three-day festival of hunting and entertainments, interspersed with more eating of course.

However, the idea of Thanksgiving as an annual holiday didn’t take hold immediately. Although President Washington proclaimed a day of Thanksgiving in November of 1789, it wasn’t until the 19th Century that it became an American tradition, thanks to American writer, Sarah Josepha Hale, who spent 30 years petitioning for a national Thanksgiving holiday. (We can also thank her for publishing recipes for turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie, and for writing Mary Had a Little Lamb.)

It was President Lincoln who, during the Civil War in 1863, proclaimed the final Thursday in November as an annual day of Thanksgiving. Adding his own whimsical touch in 1989, President Bush the elder, pardoned a turkey, which was then retired to a farm. The practice continues today.

As we pause in humble gratitude and joy with family and friends, and that second piece of pie, may we also remember those facing an empty chair at the Thanksgiving table this year, all who have lost their homes, and those serving our country. May God comfort and bless them, and you.

Article by Constance Watkins

Remember when gift-giving was about choosing the right gift–a special gift–for that special person and anticipating their joy and surprise? Does it seem that now you’re just exchanging cash and gift cards, shopping with a computer instead of people? Do you wonder what happened to the personal, human touch, the joyful interaction?

One Christmas, as Eva watched her grandchildren tear into one gift after another, casting each aside for the next, she wished for a more personal, shared connection with them during the holidays.

As she thought about it over the next few months, an idea began to grow and by the following Christmas season she was ready to test it. Checking with their parents about gifts they were giving the children, she then picked up the kids on a December Saturday. Before getting out of the car at the mall, each child was given an envelope of cash and a pen.

The rules of the game were as follows: They were to walk the length of the mall together, visiting their favorite stores and selecting purchases. Then came the hard part. They weren’t allowed to buy anything–yet. On their envelopes they were to write down the item(s) they wanted, the prices, and the store name. If the lists got out of hand, Eva would bring some common sense into play.

After scoping out the stores, they sat down together to figure out how much their prospective purchases would cost, comparing that total with the cash in their envelopes. It meant making some hard choices, (a lesson we’ve all had to learn), and of course, allowing for tax.

Once having decided what they could and couldn’t live without, it was back into the stores to make their purchases.

When all purchases were completed, they were to put a portion of any leftover money into the Salvation Army Kettle. Then it was off to meet with Grandpa for a meal at their favorite restaurant.

Eva felt that a little worn patience and weariness was small price to pay for the children’s day of joy and enthusiasm. Her idea was a success that became an annual tradition as the grandchildren were growing up. She cherished this time with them, and they weren’t disappointed that these gifts came early. Nor were they aware that they had been given a small lesson in money management and decision-making.

Eva says, “These shopping trips were wonderful opportunities for the kids and me to bond, to get to know each other away from the distractions of ball games, school programs, music and dance recitals, large family gatherings, and those intrusive, ever-present electronics. There are no losers in this game.”

Here’s wishing all of you a warm and happy holiday season, complete with opportunities for shared joy.

Article by Constance Watkins